so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
