you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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