I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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