Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
