There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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