lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
