I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
