i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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