so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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