if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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