Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Randomize
