i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
