Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have fence marks all over my body
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Oh god it's open bar.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
