Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
