glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
