I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
