You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
