I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
