Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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