Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
