she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
