I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
