So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize