Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
