there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
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