Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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