i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
