i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
