I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
