You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
