I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
