I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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