called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
