I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
