Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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