I'd wear matching sweaters with you
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The air taste purple.
Randomize