Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
