He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
