Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
All I want is dick and wine.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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