went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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