haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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