you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
