Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
