Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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