no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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