he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
