I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize