It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
