hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
