She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
