I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my sisters under your porch take her home
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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