we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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