so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
