I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
