You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
