Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I want her autograph on my taint
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize