the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize