What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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