i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
