is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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