just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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