I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
