HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
