When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
