Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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