i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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