Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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