I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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