Kareoke will never be a sober sport
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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